franck has the most good-natured heart. Immediately content in any moment. I miss him. I pray that he is being a light where he is, that god will use that sweet little cat’s life for good
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“I like simple, clean. Efficient.”
sometimes I like that too, I don’t know. sometimes I want nothing in a space besides a blanket on the floor. and sometimes I want all of my memories sprinkled everywhere, with a rug and throw pillows and lights and everything that reminds me of New Mexico in my view. i like objects that remind me of something. a memory, a place, piece of my heart. I also like beauty. beauty makes me happy—no, joyful. when it all becomes too much, that’s when I minimize. I purge. whatever feels like clutter or grit, I throw away.
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at what age can you no longer be a little girl figuring it all out. at what point do I become like the women at chicos, who wear big necklaces and pantsuits. i can’t picture myself ever in a big necklace. but I couldn’t picture myself with a big diamond on my finger either. at what point does acting like a child start to look like it doesn’t fit anymore, like things would just be better if you became a young woman, whatever that means. I loved my early twenties, I had so much fun. but I was also trying everything because I didn’t know what I liked, who I was, etc. this time now, it’s gentler but no less meaningful. you don’t have to be going on an adventure to have an adventure. what makes one boring is not the lack of times they’ve been drunk. “live a little.” I am living. I’m having the human experience. life is hard for a majority of people on the globe. nothing makes you more empathetic than experiencing the same thing.
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“you learn in the light what you’re gonna need in the dark”
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from 3/10/21 ^
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“you don’t understand, you’re not a man.”
I guess I don’t. It’s tragic what the corruption of humanity does to us all. I spent more than a decade telling myself that I wasn’t enough, but it wasn’t true. But satan tells the ones I love most the same thing about me. but of course it isn’t true. how can we encourage one another when satan has a hold on our own minds as well. “you’re beautiful just the way you are,” he says, but sometimes he wonders if I am. we know what the truth is. we’re just flawed. but we’re working on it, and God is our north star, the constant light and truth that never leaves us and guides us back to where we’re really supposed to be.
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life happens six months at a time ❤
mp 