talking food

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Yesterday my fortune cookie told me to not be so hard on myself and that I’m doing the best I can. What a wise cookie that was. I wish I could have asked him more questions. But the thing is, cookies don’t talk back to you. They’re like Yoda: they say one wise, ambiguous thing and then they mysteriously disappear before you can ask them anything else. It’s really annoying. I’m almost insulted.

This is why it’s best to have human mentors—as opposed to mentors that are aliens or food. Human mentors stick around and talk to you. They are best to have. Humans are best.

The only exception I can think of is the Muppets from Space movie. Because in that movie, aliens actually use food to communicate to Gonzo while they are in outer space. They write brief messages in Gonzo’s alphabet cereal to communicate that they are his long-lost relatives. And even though the messages are brief and ambiguous, I feel like it’s ok in this case because cereal communication is really difficult and only allows for the use of a few characters. So at least the aliens were trying to stay in contact with him.

What am I saying right now? This might be the dumbest post I’ve ever written.

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