killin me

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Life update.

Truly I’m not sure how to start this. I haven’t had much time to think about where I’m at in life right now. I feel like I’m just going through things and not stopping to think about them. It’s not exactly because I’m super busy. I mean sure I’ve been occupied with things. But at the end of the day when I’ve got time to spare, I’ve just been wasting it. Wasting my time staring at screens and mirrors, mostly.

Social media is a biyatch, and I’m just too weak to manage it. It’s managing me, for real. It’s like a horrible boyfriend I don’t even enjoy being with but I keep dating for some stupid, incomprehensible reason. And I have to end it. I have to clear my head and get my mindfulness back. So. I’ve re-deleted my Facebook account. And I’ve locked myself out of Instagram… I closed my eyes, typed some random letters, and clicked “change password.” Then I entered Kenzie’s email address into my contact info. The only way I can log back in is if she resets my password, and I know I can trust Kenz to keep me sober, no matter how much I beg. I would have deleted my account, but it’s linked to my portfolio and resume and all that crap, and the relationship between artists and Insta is annoying but maybe necessary and I hate it but I don’t know what to do.

So grateful for Kenzie. She’s my rock. The sanest person I know. Got a great head on her shoulders. And I know I can go to her to keep my own straight.

Going to focus these next two months on getting back to the two most important things in the world. Loving God. And loving others. Gotta stop being such a narcissist. It’s not good. It’s really, really not good.

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