hi. a person can have everything they thought they needed in order to be happy, and yet still feel like something is missing. I never realized how true this was. but it is. very true.
everything can seem all good and well and perfect. every little thing on your list crossed off. you can have the passion and the friends and the job and the home. and the cool art supplies and all the books. and just everything can be completely perfect. no reason to complain. walking on sunshine, yada yada. however,
if you’re not sleeping enough, you won’t be able to enjoy any of it.
if you say yes to everything, even if they’re all good things, you’ll be too tired to be happy about any of it. every single thing you do will make you feel insecure and inadequate and just miserable. this is what I have learned.
when we’re tired, we just don’t function right. and it makes us think that we suck more than we do. and it causes all of this anxiety. Our anxiety level, ahem, is directly proportional to “the distance between our ideal for our lives and the reality for our lives.” I heard that in a video and I like it very much.
“Never half-ass two things. Whole ass one thing.”
That’s really great.
what I’ve learned is that I cannot tell God what I need. because I am am so freaking wrong about what I need. I started this august with a list of things I wanted in order to have a worry-free semester. wifi and a job were the main ones lol. but I have still worried my butt off this sem. :O
you just can’t go telling God what he has to do for you. ya gotta trust him to give you exactly what you actually need, and thank him for it. i’m so grateful that I’m learning this lesson now. I hope I don’t get old and rich someday and forget it.
love, meg
mp 