today on my jungle safari I stopped at a little deck overlooking the water and stood at the fence watching all the old people around me. I wanted to ask them how they had figured out what to do with the past half century of their lives. how did they get to this point? how did it all work out for them? of course standing there in front of the pretty water and thinking these things made me cry. so there I was in the middle of a park crying silently amongst a bunch of happy old people. i never cry this much what is the deal. anyway my point isn’t that i’m a melodramatic wuss even though I guess I am. the point is that sometimes u feel heartache and you can’t really escape it. no matter how much you distract yourself. or you try to cope. that physical feeling in your heart just stays there. can’t be masked really. not sober at least. even when u know that of course things will work out eventually. your head just can’t convince yourself to calm down. being in touch with how you really feel can hurt sometimes and I think that’s why we all try to cover it with the gluttony + over saturation of every single physical thing on this earth. but we should really all just ugly-cry more. let it all out. really. stop burying it w stuff and just release it. when is the last time u wept like a baby? maybe you should.

even jesus wept. and he’s more of a man than any of us so it doesn’t break any of those stereotyping man codes or whatever. just go ahead and cry. humans have the ability to weep for a reason. survival of the fittest duh.

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