I did not realize how much of an anxious person I am until recently. well, truly I’m not sure if it’s right to label anyone as an “anxious” person. because that’s like calling someone a sad person or an excited person—no one is sad or excited all of the time. maybe I have my anxious moments. maybe i’m prone to being anxious in certain circumstances. maybe there’s a certain set of conditions unique to each individual that causes each to moil in anxiety. anyway, I think the truth is that i’m a perfectly healthy human being. but sometimes I convince myself that I am dying or that my heart will stop at any moment. we can’t live our lives worrying that our heart is just going to suddenly stop doing the thing it is supposed to do that makes us alive. we just have to trust it, or trust God, for the time being. let go of what we can’t control. a video I once watched said, “the distance between our ideal for our lives and the reality of our lives, that distance is directly proportional to our anxiety levels.”

prayer + thanksgiving is the supposed key to anxiety relief. and I wonder if it takes a long time, if it’s like addiction recovery, a trust-the-process situation.