dead

megan_pruitt_documentary_01

the hardest part about making stuff is starting. I feel so creatively dead right now. like i’m not working hard enough to be a better artist. to improve my skills. so I also feel guilty. idk why. i’m just having a horrible time starting right now. I just don’t want to. like, I dread it. I love it, but I dread it. what is my deal? I have all this desire to learn and read and draw and become better, but I just won’t do it. what is wrong with me????????? i’m so ashamed. and the comparison game is a biyatch. I feel like other people work harder than I do. i’m not working hard enough. i’m not driven enough. I need to read more books. draw more. work work work. but instead i’m just sitting here paralyzed. I think i’m afraid. I really do. afraid and slightly disillusioned. and also lazy. all of those things.

this pic ^ this is how I feel right now. so much going on. so many wires and pieces and materials and potential to make stuff. yet i’m not even working. lol actually when I first chose this pic it was just random. but this metaphor is working out ok.

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