hey. sup. you know, I have learned so freaking much this past year. seriously. this entire year has been the biggest time of learning and growing and changing of my life. it’s been like really good. sometimes hard. sometimes fun. sometimes like straight-up confusing. but really really really good.
when the summer of 2017 began, I had no idea that the year ahead would be like this. I cannot explain everything I’ve learned and all the ways I’ve changed. nor would I ever post it on the freaking interweb lol. so instead i’ll just make a list of everything I have lost or broken in the past twelve months.
- my roommate’s plant
- car (that was a doozy)
- library book
- earphones (again)
- flash drive
- key to workplace
- water bottle
- phone charger
- my dignity
- kenzie’s dignity
- my favorite mechanical pencil (the freaking irony)
- metal ruler
- x-acto knife
- omg I lost my phone and had to pick it up at the police station. lol I almost forgot about that
well that was therapeutic.
but u know, i’ve learned to be totes cool with making mistakes this year. ya just gotta accept them and move on. i’m not saying that it hasn’t costed me a heck of a lotta of money but I just mean i’ve learned to not be so hard on myself. humans are morons. we are selfish and stupid people. and we don’t have to pretend that we’re not or hate ourselves when we are. that’s called freaking virtue signaling and it’s dumb. life is messy and so is ministry and what matters to the good Lord isn’t whether or not you watched some sketch shows or dated the wrong guy or drank a lil. what matters is that you had friends who weren’t self-righteous, sheltered ninnies your whole life. your heart—that’s what matters. man looks at the outward appearance, but Dios looks at the heart. God is going to let you make mistakes even when your intentions are good. and I find that fascinating and soooooooooooooo relieving.
messiness is ok, ya know? guilt is not a virtue. it’s a tactic used by the devil to make you kill yourself. so stop with the feeling guilty already. unless you like actually are guilty or you need to feel guilty or you know what i’m done with this use your own discernment and figure out what I mean.
p.s. ok i’m just gonna repeat something really profound I wrote in here to let it sink in for personal reasons: God is going to let you make mistakes even when your intentions are good.
^damn that’s some good stuff. hmm. interesting. k chao like for real now.