sometimes I get the feeling of not wanting to do something mixed up w deep and utter despair. like if I have this assignment or project I have to do but don’t want to do it, I start thinking all these awful things like I am alone on this earth or sigh everything is awful. and I mean sure when u rlly think about it, the human condition rlly is awful. there’s something inherently wrong with us. but I tend to only think about these things when i’m being selfish. anyway,

donald miller says that there is so much evidence all around us that there really is something wrong. all the stories we watch and tell, all the things we do to entertain ourselves. they’re evidence of this deep despair we all feel. it’s real, man. and we are constantly trying to distract ourselves from it. Blaise Pascal talked all the time about the role of distractions in hiding our condition from ourselves. Cameron McAllister says “the fact that we seek so many distractions proves that we are in deep despair.”

i don’t rlly have a solution for all this. i’ve just been noticing a lot of despair-ish things out there lately. not in like a moapy depressed way, just in a wow-life-is-hard-for-so-many-ppl way. I guess u could say i’m woke. pft. so woke. anyway,

been trying to reduce the distractions. the matrix is real, man. I talk about the matrix a lot on here. kinda weird. anyway,

there r so many distractions. so many. but despair sucks, so I get it. we never talk about it. we should talk about it. there’s this huge gap between real life and utopia. it’s important to consider why.