“if you do get lost, go back to the surface. nothing wrong with that at all”

go back to what u know. run away and get out of there. there’s nothing wrong w wanting the person who’s loved u forever to give u hug and make everything right again. just get outta the deep and dry off for a bit. reorient yourself. so u can go deeper next time. everything in life is preparing u for the next thing. sure there r times of shallowness but there r also times of deepness, ya know. occasionally u will get lost. but up is always up and that’s usually pretty clear so it’s cool just go back to the surface and feel dat relief for a bit. i’m not gonna lie and say that cold water doesn’t suck and heartache doesn’t hurt. but eventually it ends. so get in that water and go through it. and know that up is always right there. and be amazed at the fact that your body can actually handle it even when u think u can’t. the ache is awful I know. kjfdfakdljda. it was so cold today. but the minute I shut up and went under, I just kept going going going. and eventually realized how incredible everything was. rocks and fish and nothingness. enough nothingness to make a newbie panic. and I was like, this is fucking terrifying and amazing. terrifying and amazing. I love that. and eventually we came back to the surface and I was like, wow, I can’t believe I survived that. I learned so much and now i’m here and i’m a new person. and wow. here I am on the surface and that cold air is making this view amazing. where am I. I guess it was worth it. ima stick on the surface for a lil while. but i’m rlly glad that god isn’t mad when I get lost. bc eventually he’s gonna send me down there again. I hope it’s warmer next time lol.

my final ode to diving for a while gotta stop talking about it so much it’s getting weird.

it’s been a good semester

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