full circle

all of those little nudgings and urges and thoughts that pop into your head come full circle eventually. if you have enough peace u see it. that’s why u have to take it all one step at a time. the path lights up piece by piece. until one day u can look behind you and see exactly why everything played out the way it did and why you couldn’t know everything at once. ride each wave as it comes to u. & listen intently to the nudges in your soul. we are weaving our lives together.

when I first moved here I wanted to leave pretty immediately. & I started interviewing for this cool job in miami. but then one night in dt ft myers I was watching this street singer. & this beautiful old lady with long blonde hair was standing beside me & she was singing along and swaying and her hands were clasped and her eyes were closed. & at one point she paused & turned & looked at me with her big earnest eyes, and she pointed to some other ppl watching & said, those people look sad. we need to tell them about jesus.

& then she started singing again. & as I was standing there in the dark street with all of these fort myer-ans listening to a street singer, this feeling came over me that I wasn’t going to get the cool job in miami and that I was going to be in ft myers for a while. & it felt pretty real, and in that moment I was okay with it. & then I went through with the interview & the call-back interview & I started to want the job pretty badly. & I hoped that the feeling I’d had that one night was mistaken.

that blonde old lady was the prettiest most peaceful woman I have ever seen in my entire life. I want to be her when I grow up. ugh. anyway, the feeling I had that night came completely true. & now here I am. & I can feel all of these life stories playing out around me. & they’re all weaving together somehow even though idk the end result.

I have a lot of stories like that. of things coming full circle. I should write them all down eventually. this is Ruger. he’s helping me watch chickens this wknd. i think ruger hates me. tbh I can’t remember if that’s actually his name.