sometimes it just hits me how much has changed in the past two yrs of life. grateful for so much, but if I could go back I would. even though I was an idiot. pre covid, pre adulting, pre car problems & angst & feeling all of this pressure to be successful. pre watching your friends struggle. pre strange awk drama. pre horrible hatred & resentment & ache. pre being humbled lol. life is so gritty now. life & relationships get more and more gritty over time I guess.

one of the profs at sfca says ‘you learn in the light what you’re gonna need in the dark.’ ya we can’t go back to those easy times. but we can remember them fondly & let them carry us thru whatever grit u find yourself in ahead. take whatever moments of light you receive & allow them to create u into the person u need to be. sometimes you’ll get to spend a few yrs watching sheep & playing the harp. & sometimes you’ll be forced to face giants or maybe hide from evil kings tryna chase u down. both v character defining experiences i’d say. where am I going w this.

just treasure the nostalgia. embrace all the longing feelings. never b afraid to feel what you really really feel & let it hurt you. admit to your ache. & then cope with it. to feel is to be human. or something like that.

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