Sharing all of the things I used to do alone and all of the places I used to go alone with another person feels so strange at first. I have this weird fear that if I share these things, that person won’t fully appreciate them, or I will lose my special possession of them. It’s so scary, to be vulnerable. and open. To tell someone about your favorite moments, your insecurities, the places you go to feel safe, even the things you are passionate about. The random epiphanies you have at work. The things that God is teaching you. It all feels so difficult to share. or at least sometimes it does.
I think the reason behind all of this is a fear that I have of losing myself. Of losing part of my life for the sake of another person. In a country where individualism is worshipped and everyone’s out here going on journeys to ‘find themselves,’ losing oneself seems like the ultimate offense to my identity. But then I think about what Jesus said…
Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.
Matthew 10:39 niv
Love starts with God. And it seems that in order to fully love God, I have to give up my own life—to consider myself dead.
I think that in our culture people get easily scared about becoming too invested in a relationship and stunting their own growth as an individual, but in a relationship that is christ centered and healthy, it seems that true love actually does require some sacrifice. A literal ‘giving up’ of one’s life.
Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
John 15:13
Also, this:
^it seems that being able to share these things with another person (or people) is actually the greatest blessing of all. wow. that’s v beautiful.
mp 