I think it’s time to pause and to think about what the heck life is about anyway. because you can’t just go through this thing and never meditate. what are you doing? you have to stop and think about your life. you have to. you need to. you can’t go your whole life distracting yourself forever.

sometimes ppl don’t want to think about these sorts of things bc they think it’s scary. I get it. I really do. I myself have an intense fear of aliens. they freak me out because they are beyond this world, they are supernatural, and they make me sooooo uncomfortable. ew.

so I totally get what it’s like to be afraid of thinking really hard about something that is beyond the physical and local world. it can be terrifying bc honestly we don’t understand it. and it means that we are very small and insignificant, and that we really have no grasp of reality. I mean the matrix was a freaky movie. really. but I personally believe that it was better for Neo to realize that he was in the matrix than to go on his whole life being ignorant and connected to that awful wire thing in his throat or whatever. I mean that SUCKS.

the truth is that it is true God is scary. he’s terrifying. can you imagine if an angel showed up in your bedroom one night and just stood there glowing right in front of you? I think about that sometimes when i’m trying to get to sleep. what if an angel appeared in here right now? how freaky would that be? I go into panic mode when the refrigerator makes a weird noise. can you imagine the adrenaline you’d feel if you were actually experiencing something legitimately scary? I mean whenever an angel shows up in the bible, the first thing it usually says is to not be afraid. so heck ya—God is scary. angels are scary. aliens are horrifying. anything supernatural is scary. but, you can’t just go on pretending it’s not out there. the elephant in the room is that somehow you exist right now, and that is an extremely strange phenomenon. it’s time to look that elephant in the face and ask it why it’s there.

my desktop wallpaper right now says “fear is 10 ft tall and paper thin.” I love that.

so do what the angel says. get over your fears and ask yourself why you are conscious right now. and think about the fact that you are going to die someday, and what one earth that means. and consider eternity, and the idea of living forever and ever and ever, which is a very terrifyingly long time. meditate. realize how tiny you are. figure out what you believe. goodnight.


  1. Kenzie Pruitt · December 16, 2018

    dude this is good i rlly liked this writing
    also love the new look


  2. Pingback: change and such | mp

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