right now

  • realizing that every gift or talent or aspect of my personality wasn’t given to me to boost my own ego but to be passed around & interacted with
  • we were made to admire each other
  • the stakes in life are high & low at the same time
  • “what are you doing to make people think?”
    – old man at a dinner party
  • this next paragraph is gonna be a lil rambly…
  • I think that for a hot while I wasn’t insecure but I just didn’t know who I was really & appreciate myself or whatnot. & I think a lot of it was because my identity was suppressed by this weird body dysmorphia & the loud people I was around. & sometimes to get over all that identity suppression, god will make u go through a year of wandering around & learning about yourself & seeking affirmation from a thousand places & then being ultimately affirmed by yourself + your creator. and in time u realize that u like who u are & u are having so much fun just by going your own way. and then once u are finally completely satisfied & no longer seeking any sort of acceptance from any other thing or person or idea, u r finally ready to share yourself, and use all those god-given gifts & qualities with no fear of rejection. it’s like what kenzie was saying.
  • i’ve learned a lot. but I think this has been the ultimate lesson of the past year.
  • satisfaction can’t come from knowing the answers, it has to come from trusting that god is real and his plan for humanity is more epic than I get to understand right now.
  • things are going to be hard moving forward inevitably at some point. but I hope that I remember how true all of this is and how steadfast I am able to be if I trust god & my role in the bigger picture that I am a part of.
  • sometimes god tells us to be quiet. but sometimes he tells us to be loud with accountability.
  • so yay to self love or whatever lmao such a trendy concept with deeper implications than any of us realize.
  • thank you so much god

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