summer

in the summer weekends feel like a completely different world from the workdays. I like it. it’s like two separate stories playing out but somehow weaving together like a tale of two cities.
meanwhile back at the office…

sometimes the dissonance does create a little tension though. realizing when you’re in one place, that you’d rather be in the other. it’s hard to believe that you were twelve hours earlier treading water in the ocean when now you’re tucked in a cubicle hitting the same five shortcut keys over & over. it makes you realize more quickly what you really love, I guess. what u actually want to be doing with your life.

I am literally a couch away from starting a sketchbook etsy shop. I feel it. i’m so ready. once I feel furnished enough to function, it’ll be time. I think that’s true

in three months I’m going to new mexico. that’s so wild. actually, yea that fact does feel unreal. it’s amazing how once you do figure out your finances, your priorities sink into place. or your passions, I guess.

today I told a group of elementary school kids about an insecure man named gideon. when the angel approached him, the angel called him a mighty warrior.

but was gideon a warrior? (no) why did the angel call him this???

because that’s how god saw him. (gasp)

god is all knowing. he sees you finished.

god sees who you are becoming.

when I think about this, all of the petty decisions I worry about seem pointless. god knows who I am far beyond those things and beyond what I know about myself. he reveals who we truly are to ourselves—slowly, when he wants, according to his timing, when he decides you are ready. what a relief and what a mysterious & romantic thought.

I remember in college thinking that my life was right next to some sort of peak, not realizing that it hadn’t even begun really. & a year and a half after college, I see now how much my life is just beginning. how little I know, how much more I have to live—& go through—how much more time I have to go on adventures & fall in love & meet the right people & discover who I am. there is plenty, plenty of time. so much already & it’s barely started.

so, in conclusion, I guess…meg, and whoever else is reading this: let things play out. trust the process. trust that the stories are in fact weaving together, according to god’s timing. trust that he knows you better than you know yourself. he has already written your history. & it will be good. & it will feel right.

settle for nothing other than what feels right. ❤ and be patient.

my heart.

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