I have heard that god loves me for ever and ever, and some times I have understood it and other times I haven’t regarded it much. but occasionally the veil is lifted and it makes sense that he loves me, the words have meaning again. no matter how many times I mess up or go into addict impulse mode, he still loves me. he even protects me to an extent.

today a girl in group said that god can make u a new person at any time of your life, and that sometimes he works in seasons. changing who you are is a part of life, and god changes people all the time, even beyond making them born again. perhaps none of us know who we truly are, and that is why it is necessary to get rid of all those preconceived identities and just see who god is shaping you into. one time my graphic design rabbi said to me, “if I got everything I wanted, my life would be shit.” I have to agree with him. I could never have woefully dreamed of a life such as this, but it is significantly better than anything I have ever woefully dreamed for. I don’t know where all of this is headed, but I will remember this gentle time. I hope it shapes me into someone strong enough for whatever is next. that is all for now I think. goodbye.